The Top 10 Shoddiest Moments In Music, 2012
Ok, so this is a comprehensive countdown of my own, personal top 10 shoddiest moments from music this year; stuff that got me thinking, 'just why?', stuff that made me weep tears of agonising hatred, and stuff that was disappointing, stupid, both or other. Don't worry! It's not all pessimistic, there's a top 10 epic moments countdown to follow this tomorrow! Ok, so - from the top...
10. Muse release new single, "Madness"
Well, what can we say about this? Most of us would, surely, rather forget about "The 2nd Law" album entirely, wouldn't we? I haven't heard it from start to finish, but highlights on YouTube, and indeed the weak singles, all of them, getting airtime on the radio, has convinced me that this has been something of a step backwards for one of the UK's most loved rock acts. Without going completely into one (by which I mean, a review), "Madness" was just a very disappointing moment, especially after the bombastic "Survival", released earlier in the year. Ok, so we were already doubtful, the cover of that particular single sporting an incredibly bad bit of advertising for the summer Olympic games, but no one can have predicted the utter flop that was "Madness", a song we wanted to love with its 'wubbly' opening, a hint of dubstep here and there, but never too much, but face it - the song did nothing. It just meanders around in a circle like a tranquillised cat for 3 minutes, and then dies at the end. Just...I don't even know what to say...very bloody disappointing...
Ok, so this is a comprehensive countdown of my own, personal top 10 shoddiest moments from music this year; stuff that got me thinking, 'just why?', stuff that made me weep tears of agonising hatred, and stuff that was disappointing, stupid, both or other. Don't worry! It's not all pessimistic, there's a top 10 epic moments countdown to follow this tomorrow! Ok, so - from the top...
10. Muse release new single, "Madness"
Well, what can we say about this? Most of us would, surely, rather forget about "The 2nd Law" album entirely, wouldn't we? I haven't heard it from start to finish, but highlights on YouTube, and indeed the weak singles, all of them, getting airtime on the radio, has convinced me that this has been something of a step backwards for one of the UK's most loved rock acts. Without going completely into one (by which I mean, a review), "Madness" was just a very disappointing moment, especially after the bombastic "Survival", released earlier in the year. Ok, so we were already doubtful, the cover of that particular single sporting an incredibly bad bit of advertising for the summer Olympic games, but no one can have predicted the utter flop that was "Madness", a song we wanted to love with its 'wubbly' opening, a hint of dubstep here and there, but never too much, but face it - the song did nothing. It just meanders around in a circle like a tranquillised cat for 3 minutes, and then dies at the end. Just...I don't even know what to say...very bloody disappointing...
9. Justin Bieber's tattoos
Everybody's 'favourite teen heart-throb' went (in the memorable words of Robert Downey Jr. in "Tropic Thunder") 'full-retard' this year with his 'spectacular' array of new tattoos. Not only did he disappoint a fan base of little girls, whom his purity and idealistic, naive perfection had initially appealed to 3 years ago, but he confirmed, for the rest of us, that he really is a giant idiot. Not for getting tattoos; that in itself wouldn't be so much of an issue. But my god, these ones are bad. The nasty, chunky 'Believe' on his forearm, was just the beginning, as now he's got this really tacky, badly designed own taking up most of his wrist and arm, and, it just looks awful. Bieber's one redeeming feature was the fact that his sound engineers and producers had helped in conjunction with his stylists to create the most perfect pop sensation that anyone could hope to make money out of; it seems, however, that they had the year off...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2224440/Justin-Bieber-adds-expanding-collection-tattoos-inking-owl.html
Everybody's 'favourite teen heart-throb' went (in the memorable words of Robert Downey Jr. in "Tropic Thunder") 'full-retard' this year with his 'spectacular' array of new tattoos. Not only did he disappoint a fan base of little girls, whom his purity and idealistic, naive perfection had initially appealed to 3 years ago, but he confirmed, for the rest of us, that he really is a giant idiot. Not for getting tattoos; that in itself wouldn't be so much of an issue. But my god, these ones are bad. The nasty, chunky 'Believe' on his forearm, was just the beginning, as now he's got this really tacky, badly designed own taking up most of his wrist and arm, and, it just looks awful. Bieber's one redeeming feature was the fact that his sound engineers and producers had helped in conjunction with his stylists to create the most perfect pop sensation that anyone could hope to make money out of; it seems, however, that they had the year off...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2224440/Justin-Bieber-adds-expanding-collection-tattoos-inking-owl.html
8. Courtney Love attacks Lana Del Rey over Twitter for covering Nirvana's "Heart Shaped Box"
Despite forays into her own musical career with grunge/alternative rock collective Hole, Courtney Love is famous for (and often expected to pull) publicity stunts at any and every available opportunity. A poignant reminder of this, was her response to Lana Del Rey's soulful cover of her late husband's band's song "Heart Shaped Box" (which you can view below) this summer. Del Rey, and in fact, the rest of the world, were informed, duly, of the inspiration behind the lyrics to the song; allegedly, Love's own vagina...yes, lovely I know...the Tweet served as something of a warning to Del Rey, who was commanded by way of the message's content, to think of Love's genitals when next singing the song. It's screaming 'cheap pub. stunt', honestly...still, it does nothing to quell Del Rey's own success this year, which, hopefully, will continue well into 2013...
http://www.nme.com/news/courtney-love/65224
Despite forays into her own musical career with grunge/alternative rock collective Hole, Courtney Love is famous for (and often expected to pull) publicity stunts at any and every available opportunity. A poignant reminder of this, was her response to Lana Del Rey's soulful cover of her late husband's band's song "Heart Shaped Box" (which you can view below) this summer. Del Rey, and in fact, the rest of the world, were informed, duly, of the inspiration behind the lyrics to the song; allegedly, Love's own vagina...yes, lovely I know...the Tweet served as something of a warning to Del Rey, who was commanded by way of the message's content, to think of Love's genitals when next singing the song. It's screaming 'cheap pub. stunt', honestly...still, it does nothing to quell Del Rey's own success this year, which, hopefully, will continue well into 2013...
http://www.nme.com/news/courtney-love/65224
7. Skrillex releases new single "Bangarang" - mainstream dubstep is born
Ugh...dubstep, this year's biggest drag of all. Why though? Surely, it excites us all that a new genre was born, under our noses, before our very eyes? Well, yes ok, so something new 'happened'. But that's just it - it's 'happened' and it doesn't seem to be doing anything...well...at all. Punk caused social devastation and sparked a miniature civil war between the youths and the adults, it had us engaged, and, most importantly, is paved the way for everything we listen to today - everything. Even dubstep - it's about the way it forced us out of convention. Skrillex would never have been able to have that haircut he has, let alone make this record before 1977. But the thing is, that dubstep it just noise - there's no intelligence, really, and more and more normal people are being able to pick up a MacBook and join in; it's so talentless - just take a look at those lyrics...oh and, it's bloody annoying as well - have a listen below and see what you think. Like I say, this is a personal bottom 10, and so, hey, if I hate it, it's going in at #7 on the list...so meh...
Ugh...dubstep, this year's biggest drag of all. Why though? Surely, it excites us all that a new genre was born, under our noses, before our very eyes? Well, yes ok, so something new 'happened'. But that's just it - it's 'happened' and it doesn't seem to be doing anything...well...at all. Punk caused social devastation and sparked a miniature civil war between the youths and the adults, it had us engaged, and, most importantly, is paved the way for everything we listen to today - everything. Even dubstep - it's about the way it forced us out of convention. Skrillex would never have been able to have that haircut he has, let alone make this record before 1977. But the thing is, that dubstep it just noise - there's no intelligence, really, and more and more normal people are being able to pick up a MacBook and join in; it's so talentless - just take a look at those lyrics...oh and, it's bloody annoying as well - have a listen below and see what you think. Like I say, this is a personal bottom 10, and so, hey, if I hate it, it's going in at #7 on the list...so meh...
6. Madonna's "MDNA" world tour
Oh god, every day now, the music press is flooded with controversy surrounding 'something Madonna's done on stage'. It's very petty as well' usually mildly racial, or mildly political or just, whatever...it's getting on my freaking nerves, and it's been happening pretty much all year as well. Soon, I swear, someone is going to get up on stage and just...ugh...I don't know...Where did the Madonna we know and love disappear to? This is the same woman who released "Holiday" and "Like A Prayer"...what has happened here? You can read the latest one below...
http://www.nme.com/news/madonna/67862
Oh god, every day now, the music press is flooded with controversy surrounding 'something Madonna's done on stage'. It's very petty as well' usually mildly racial, or mildly political or just, whatever...it's getting on my freaking nerves, and it's been happening pretty much all year as well. Soon, I swear, someone is going to get up on stage and just...ugh...I don't know...Where did the Madonna we know and love disappear to? This is the same woman who released "Holiday" and "Like A Prayer"...what has happened here? You can read the latest one below...
http://www.nme.com/news/madonna/67862
5. Spokespeople for Morrissey and Johnny Marr dash hopes of a Smiths reunion, permanently...
It started with a spokesperson for Morrissey explaining that the beloved Smiths are 'never, ever going to reunite'. That in itself could have been taken with a pinch of salt, maybe possibly even ignored indefinitely. It was Joe Moss' words that hit hardest, however. Johnny Marr's manager exclaimed, 'The Smiths are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to reunite - ever'. He said 'never' 8 times in total. Yes. I counted. Not that I needed to. Each one was like a bullet to the chest, and having your hopes dashed like that, as I did, reading the NME article in an art room one lunchtime at school, hurts. To have the possibility of the reunion totally scratched out in that way was sad to say the very least, but deep down, I think every fan, however much they would have cried with joy had it happened, knew that a reunion was out of the question; anyone who knows anything about the band, just knows - it wouldn't work anymore...anyway, moving swiftly on...
http://www.nme.com/news/the-smiths/66440
It started with a spokesperson for Morrissey explaining that the beloved Smiths are 'never, ever going to reunite'. That in itself could have been taken with a pinch of salt, maybe possibly even ignored indefinitely. It was Joe Moss' words that hit hardest, however. Johnny Marr's manager exclaimed, 'The Smiths are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to reunite - ever'. He said 'never' 8 times in total. Yes. I counted. Not that I needed to. Each one was like a bullet to the chest, and having your hopes dashed like that, as I did, reading the NME article in an art room one lunchtime at school, hurts. To have the possibility of the reunion totally scratched out in that way was sad to say the very least, but deep down, I think every fan, however much they would have cried with joy had it happened, knew that a reunion was out of the question; anyone who knows anything about the band, just knows - it wouldn't work anymore...anyway, moving swiftly on...
http://www.nme.com/news/the-smiths/66440
4. Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj collaborate for new single, "Beauty And A Beat"
Yes, it's true, the two worst personas in music collided, and yes, the make up took a long time to clear up. This was nearly my worst song of the year, but the way B.o.B killed Taylor Swift, only just overtook this horrific collaboration. It's an actual musical car-crash and there's very little worth saying about it, so here you go, have a listen; weep as I did, for the industry you so dearly love...it'll make you feel marginally better about the horrible world that the existence of this song means you clearly live in...
Yes, it's true, the two worst personas in music collided, and yes, the make up took a long time to clear up. This was nearly my worst song of the year, but the way B.o.B killed Taylor Swift, only just overtook this horrific collaboration. It's an actual musical car-crash and there's very little worth saying about it, so here you go, have a listen; weep as I did, for the industry you so dearly love...it'll make you feel marginally better about the horrible world that the existence of this song means you clearly live in...
3. Bruce Springsteen, joined onstage by Paul McCartney, breaks curfew at Hyde Park and gets 'switched off'
Ok, so we're into the top 3 now, and this one, well, this one was truly shocking. Bruce Springsteen, the actual, honest-to-god and genuinely-called-this, 'Boss', was switched off by the local council in Hyde Park, London. Not only did the bastard's turn off the electricity, but Macca was onstage at the same time! A BEATLE! THEY 'SWITCHED OFF' A BEATLE! How were they allowed to do this!!!??? You want to hate the council, but really you should be asking that same last question to Bruce and co. who, infamous for breaking curfew, were actually forewarned of being 'switched off', a fact which came out in the wash later on...so now, reading the music press, you just hate everyone, especially your musical heroes for being such idiots...ugh...things were made a million times worse when, the mayor of London, Boris Johnson, in a frantic display of displeasure stated that the two rock stars should have been left to do as they pleased - who let this man be in charge? Oh that's right, the dependable British public voted him...silly me...
http://www.nme.com/news/bruce-springsteen/64923
Ok, so we're into the top 3 now, and this one, well, this one was truly shocking. Bruce Springsteen, the actual, honest-to-god and genuinely-called-this, 'Boss', was switched off by the local council in Hyde Park, London. Not only did the bastard's turn off the electricity, but Macca was onstage at the same time! A BEATLE! THEY 'SWITCHED OFF' A BEATLE! How were they allowed to do this!!!??? You want to hate the council, but really you should be asking that same last question to Bruce and co. who, infamous for breaking curfew, were actually forewarned of being 'switched off', a fact which came out in the wash later on...so now, reading the music press, you just hate everyone, especially your musical heroes for being such idiots...ugh...things were made a million times worse when, the mayor of London, Boris Johnson, in a frantic display of displeasure stated that the two rock stars should have been left to do as they pleased - who let this man be in charge? Oh that's right, the dependable British public voted him...silly me...
http://www.nme.com/news/bruce-springsteen/64923
2. Radiohead begin phasing pre-2000 songs from their live performances
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Someone should just make this illegal -and quickly! The most annoying part of the whole messy affair, is the fact that Radiohead themselves aren't 'past it' or 'out of talent'. No, if anything this band has, instrumentally and with regard to musical accomplishment, evolved - massively. Taking a look over their early back catalogue, one would assume that 20 years down the line, the British alternative favourites would be suitably godlike by now. Alas, as we are all too aware, since 2000's barely passable "Kid A", things have gone steeply downhill for Radiohead, to a point that there is now no degrading slope, but in fact just the vertical wall of a bottomless chasm, a one-way, mortally dangerous journey into a dark abyss of obscurity and annoying ambient music. For God's sake, if the band can't write decent music anymore (for whatever reason) they should at least have the humility to retain some of their original greatness for the live shows...someone, help us...but no. The Coachella appearance this year, filmed for your 'enjoyment' (allegedly), and available below, is a stark reminder of just how awesome Radiohead used to be, as a large absence of their decent songs shows, the closing bout bout of "Paranoid Android" just about excusing the whole performance, since the song, now as old as your's truly, has been perfected to a point of heavenly genius beyond that of the original - yes, apparently it is possible...
As I say (or if I haven't, here it is for the first time) this is an opinionated top 10 list, so if you don't agree, especially on this one, sorry...but come on people! And I address the band here as well - see the light Radiohead! PLEASE! WE BEG OF YOU!
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Someone should just make this illegal -and quickly! The most annoying part of the whole messy affair, is the fact that Radiohead themselves aren't 'past it' or 'out of talent'. No, if anything this band has, instrumentally and with regard to musical accomplishment, evolved - massively. Taking a look over their early back catalogue, one would assume that 20 years down the line, the British alternative favourites would be suitably godlike by now. Alas, as we are all too aware, since 2000's barely passable "Kid A", things have gone steeply downhill for Radiohead, to a point that there is now no degrading slope, but in fact just the vertical wall of a bottomless chasm, a one-way, mortally dangerous journey into a dark abyss of obscurity and annoying ambient music. For God's sake, if the band can't write decent music anymore (for whatever reason) they should at least have the humility to retain some of their original greatness for the live shows...someone, help us...but no. The Coachella appearance this year, filmed for your 'enjoyment' (allegedly), and available below, is a stark reminder of just how awesome Radiohead used to be, as a large absence of their decent songs shows, the closing bout bout of "Paranoid Android" just about excusing the whole performance, since the song, now as old as your's truly, has been perfected to a point of heavenly genius beyond that of the original - yes, apparently it is possible...
As I say (or if I haven't, here it is for the first time) this is an opinionated top 10 list, so if you don't agree, especially on this one, sorry...but come on people! And I address the band here as well - see the light Radiohead! PLEASE! WE BEG OF YOU!
1. Billie Joe Armstrong has an on-stage breakdown at iHeartRadio festival, Las Vegas, when Green Day's set is 'inexplicably cut short'...
Many would cite this as the best music moment of the year, as Armstrong's harsh words against the mainstream redefined the punk ethic, and, accompanied by a truly spectacular instrument smash-up, provided something of a flashback to the violent stage behaviour of band's whose edgy brilliance has long since departed the music scene; The Who, Nirvana etc. However, keeping this relatively short, for me, it was a truly horrifying moment as one of my songwriting inspirations lose all humility on, not just a physical Las Vegas stage, but also, the more exposing, critical, and hating, metaphorical, world stage. With the sporadic display later revealed, by the rest of the band in fact, to be the peak of suffering from substance abuse, and with the statement that the band's set was 'cut short' believed to be false, the whole thing has turned out to be a bit of a mess, though music journalism continues to tear at the story like a pack of hungry dogs regardless. iHeartRadio festival organisers and spokespeople have defended the festival, and indeed Armstrong himself, saying that the display was 'what punk rock is about' and said that the singer was 'laughing about it' backstage. I'm not convinced, and with the music hero in rehab until sometime next year, the fate of one of America's greatest musical exports ever, hangs in the balance, a feeling, which, ultimately, sucks. I want Green Day to hang around as much as the next guy, but this could prove to be the final chapter in one amazing band's even more amazing history...who knows; maybe some day very soon, Armstrong's humility and drug-free genius will return, though whether or not this happens, well, I have no idea...
Many would cite this as the best music moment of the year, as Armstrong's harsh words against the mainstream redefined the punk ethic, and, accompanied by a truly spectacular instrument smash-up, provided something of a flashback to the violent stage behaviour of band's whose edgy brilliance has long since departed the music scene; The Who, Nirvana etc. However, keeping this relatively short, for me, it was a truly horrifying moment as one of my songwriting inspirations lose all humility on, not just a physical Las Vegas stage, but also, the more exposing, critical, and hating, metaphorical, world stage. With the sporadic display later revealed, by the rest of the band in fact, to be the peak of suffering from substance abuse, and with the statement that the band's set was 'cut short' believed to be false, the whole thing has turned out to be a bit of a mess, though music journalism continues to tear at the story like a pack of hungry dogs regardless. iHeartRadio festival organisers and spokespeople have defended the festival, and indeed Armstrong himself, saying that the display was 'what punk rock is about' and said that the singer was 'laughing about it' backstage. I'm not convinced, and with the music hero in rehab until sometime next year, the fate of one of America's greatest musical exports ever, hangs in the balance, a feeling, which, ultimately, sucks. I want Green Day to hang around as much as the next guy, but this could prove to be the final chapter in one amazing band's even more amazing history...who knows; maybe some day very soon, Armstrong's humility and drug-free genius will return, though whether or not this happens, well, I have no idea...